Honest Roadtest: Water Balloons

What the fuck are these?

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I know what you’re thinking. You think they’re water balloons. You’re wrong. Water balloons are fun! Aren’t they?? I remember having fun with water balloons… What’s changed?

I’ll tell you what. Two decades and a drought have changed fucking everything about water balloons.

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How do you fill these fucking things up? Putting them on a tap seems to be getting iffy results. I think I got about 8 balloons? I was doing this shit for a good half hour?? I ended up having to put the baby on my back because he was getting pissy about my neglect.

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So needy. Where's my eyebrows?

In the end, it wasn’t even very fun. They didn’t even pop. Although that might have been my reluctance to throw them. They’re  the precious fruits of my finger loins (?)

I ended up putting some soap in there with and let Eliza play with her new elastic brothers and sisters.

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GENTLE

She was only occupied for 15 minutes before Play School became more interesting. That’s less than the fucking cloud dough.

1/5 would not recommend unless I’m not seeing that person ever again.

posted on the go; ignore mistakes

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