75 Days – Fatigue

I barely remember the days and weeks that came after my daughter was born. I was exhausted, stressed beyond belief, my whole world had been turned upside down. I didn’t know what such exhaustion existed until she was born.

Now I’m 28 weeks pregnant, and I feel that level of exhaustion.

And that terrifies me.

I’ve had people tell me that third trimester exhaustion is worse than newborn exhaustion, but I find that so hard to believe. E woke up on an hourly basis some nights, sometimes she didn’t go to sleep for 6 hours, and when she did, she only slept for two. It was torture. It was legitimately torture. I absolutely hated those first months of her life.

I’m not going to lie, I’m terrified of doing all that again, especially with a 20 month old to look after.

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Put this away

Thankfully, E did let me have a 3 hour nap today. It was incredible. I just hope she keeps it up when I really need it. I also hope that the universe rewards me with a good sleeping newborn. I got kinda ripped off with the first kid, even if she’s amazing now.

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The Difference Between Cuddles and Hugs

When someone has a newborn baby, you exclaim with glee, “yes! I can’t wait for cuddles!” Because it would be weird to expect a hug from a newborn.

The difference being, a hug goes both ways. When you hug someone, you expect that hug in return.

You’ll be awake one night with an overtired baby, she’ll be screaming and you don’t know why. You’ll be at your wits end. Then she’ll settle her head against your shoulder and gently tap your back with her tiny baby hand. Your heart will melt.

It’s ironic, because it’s the hug you’ve needed for the last 6 months of sleep deprivation slash torture.

A good hug is worth the wait.