I like being lazy. I’m a lazy person. I like to think of it as being “innovative” because I’ll always choose the easiest option. I mean, isn’t that really just clever?
Today I was somewhat lazy, somewhat ballsy. I let someone come and get me to take me to someone else’s house for a play date. If she hadn’t come to get me, honestly, I wouldn’t have gone. Is it lazy, or is it self preservation?
There’s a fine line.
Most of my days lately have been “lazy” (with the exception of yesterday) since getting pregnant. Not only am I extra tired and weary of going long distances, but having no car and being new to the area is tough.
Days like today though, today was properly lazy. People think I’m mad when I say I love the rain, but I really do. It gives me a great excuse to just sit on my ass and do absolutely nothing.
I need to start doing more or risk my children becoming a recluse like I am.
Pregnancy. It’s something I had dreamed about for years before falling pregnant with E. It took us two years to have our little girl, and barely 6 months to fall pregnant with our little boy. Little L, we were barely trying buddy.
It’s not quite as glamorous as I had imagined, especially not the second time.
We’ll call it a skin infection, and it’s been causing me a lot of heartache. It’s because of the heat that pregnancy generates, and the skin that having babies 22 months apart will eventually cause.
Today, there has been relief.
I am so happy.
Little L, today we found out your birthday. We’re so excited!
Having an elective csection means that everything is fairly clean and neat. I also feel like I’m under a whole lot less pressure than I was the first time around. I know what my body can achieve, and unfortunately, natural birth isn’t something that I can physically do. What ever. I probably couldn’t physically climb a mountain, and I can’t physically put my foot behind my head. It’s not important.
Understanding, in my situation, from medical professionals? Well, that’s not something I ever imagined I would experience.
I met with one of the midwives today. Midwives, in my experience, have always had an agenda. It’s always a natural agenda. They’re all about vag births and limited intervention. In my experience, they’ve pushed this agenda to the point of negligence.
My midwife today looked over my notes and said “oh, your first pregnancy looks like mine! Nothing happening, late csection.”
A midwife who’s had a csection?
Women who get to birth naturally just don’t experience the judgement from normal midwives like I do. This lady just knew. She knew my experience and we bonded over that.
I cannot even begin to explain how much that meant to me. I’m finally getting a good vibe about a hospital.
Reading. A way to escape reality.
Things I cry about while reading;
Medieval be-headings/colourful weddings
Things I shouldn’t have to cry about while reading;
Fuck you, John Green. We have rules in this world for reasons.
- Resent your husband for rudely snoring when he knows you can’t even rest your freaking eyes
- Daydream about smothering him
- Actually grab a pillow in preparation of smothering him
- Feel bad
- Get up
- Have a Milo
- Online shopping!
- Pretend that sleep doesn’t matter
- Make blog post
*Disclaimer- don’t do these things, you will hate yourself